CONFUSION, DILEMMA & ADVICE in our daily life

I remember a story where a spiritual teacher counsels a disciple who was in deep grief after losing his mother. The teacher explains that life is like it always, someone will come and someone will go, attachment to anybody or anything is detrimental. Actually  attachment breeds agony and that’s why hermits pursuit a detached  life  etc. Somehow the disciple get convinced and could overcame his grief. Two days later the disciple observed the teacher was crying like anything before a dead calf.

The baffled disciple enquired a fellow man what happened to the guru who was counseling him the other day . He could not understand the  guru, because as guru knows everything about life, how could he behave in such a way.  The fellowman  explained calmly to the disciple, that was your  mother  and this is his  calf ….

The moral of the story is that we can console another person who lost the  most valuable person of his life and also attached for so long time yet  we cannot withstand the loss of an animal who is simply some days old. The attachment seems more in teacher rather than the disciple. The logic was good but we cannot deny the role of the teacher to overcome his grief.Some people have extraordinary  ability to counsel others, that’s why they get a respectable place in the society. At first they  try to help the poor fellows struggling to overcome. But the poor fellows ultimately got over-dependent on the counselor in due course of time. Not only this they start worshipping and also preach for the Guru. Sometimes they draw a  to simile with god .At the same time the Gurus accept the worship and they confuse, consider  themselves as demigods. Even sometimes people go for an extra mile start to pay offerings for their gain. So in this way the demigods now dwell in a state of power and money. In this drive they forget that they are not Gods only a human being who is susceptible to errors and subject to punishment. Now their down trade begins.  At first they want to cherish their inner desires, then complete subordination of people.

By default they fall in to trap, then began to behave like a God. In this drive they forget that they are not Gods only a human being who is susceptible to errors and subject to punishment.  Then suddenly one day comes where these Gods stand nowhere. We through them to hell. We means I along with you. when I share same podium with you then you becomes we.

In other cases we expect that a motivator a counselor cannot experience what we the common ones experience. He is omnipotent in our way of thinking . We misinterpret them and we expect the teacher to be a superman, who is capable of everything. We forgot he also is vulnerable to his notions and emotions, after all he is also a human being. Yes it is also a bit difficult to counsel him because he requires a still better counselor. Everyone is prone to be drown along with their emotions. It is a different thing altogether that when one experience a lots of happenings , he becomes philosophical. He analyses thing in a separate way. I have heard people getting happy when they see the counselor fails to counsel himself or under gone a stage of depression or attempted to suicide  . A weird type of happiness they encounter and don’t forget to mention their fate to others. There by we derive pleasures for making a god man to a dog man finally.

We advise every other person who does a work. The phrases like this should have done , that is the actual way , care should have been taken while doing so etc. But nobody was bothered to do the  work  in a better way. In other words we are habituated in finding faults so that we can render an advice. And it is so conspicuous that we forget to see the best side in it. We seldom praise , we seldom appreciate, we  conveniently forgot the work and service of others. We are habituated in throwing stones at the tree which offers us fruit. Nobody tries to pelt stones at a tree which never bore a fruit. That definitely implies he who does some work , some day or other  he will do some mistake and then everybody will bang upon him . He will have to repent , in other words we make him feel why he had done this. This is our psychology, and we can’t help it. We took it granted ,a worker should always work and a slacker should always slack . We often praise a  slacker for a little thing and often abuse an over occupied person for his negligence. We are habituated in tolerating a slacker and also in comforting ourselves with a hard worker. So when these things  change we often react with the upset of balance and we behave accordingly as per the then circumstances. We often ignore the reason behind them. We fail to appreciate the hard work of the worker for silly things. Because we have already in a comfortable place due to his work, now that he is not able to deliver what is expected from him, we declare him as a cheat, disobedient and a slacker. It was his forte , it was his passion, it was his dream and we took no time to discredit him  from all his work . Even we start comparing both in the same weightage. 

In other cases people signal us to make them feel important. Everybody loves to draw attention of others. In this drive wife poses her fake illness to her husband if he is worried about her health, kids start crying to show the vague realty being harassed by someone or other , teenagers show latest gadgets which they get by blackmailing their parents or by stealing , old ones curse to show their experience and power .

 Now a days I am least affected when my MIL curses me  but it makes me literally laugh when she embraces my friend as if she would have been very happy if by chance my friend happened to be her DIL, because her friend did the same to me in front of her DIL some years back. So the other side of the mountain is always green.

I often try to analyze that people close to me reminds me  at the time of their distress ,and as soon as they overcome that period forget me and start to celebrate with other people. After much deliberation I came to the conclusion that they perhaps trust me but don’t like me. These are two expressions often camouflage with one another. Perhaps they want to enjoy the happy times unconditionally  and they feel suffocated in being rational, systematic and methodical.

                                                                                                                          continue....