Happiness is a state of mind.:-
We approach things from three points of view. First one is matter, which deals with the lifeless objects; they obey certain properties like physical chemical properties. We can predict their behavior, derive postulations, formulate a law, do some calculations and it is fixed.
Another approach is profit and loss. Here everything is counted on the basis of profit and loss. You do this to me and I will do that. I have done this to him so I will definitely get that etc. Everything pays off. Nothing comes to you unless you pay. As you sow so shall you reap? I have helped some body and in return I expect him to help me etc.
But when we approach from a humanistic point of view, every estimation fails. There is a most important element that changes from person to person is the behavior .we can’t predict their behavior, we can’t postulate a law, we can’t put a formula because along with physical and chemical properties, along with some give and take mechanism, there is a large force that acts on human is the mind power. Static matter doesn’t have the attributes like happiness, satisfaction, hatred, jealousy, etc. and we also can’t predict the percentage of those qualities. In other words human mind is always prone to these attributes in different proportions. So we cannot say that basic needs like hunger, thirst once fulfilled, it will satisfy a person, he will be happy. It is purely conditional. It is a state of mind. If a person satisfies his need may not look satisfied also. To remain happy is not a small thing, although not a big deal. It is an art, and one has to put effort to develop that quality. Because today’s world has nurtured and nourished such dissatisfaction. Struggle for existence is now an obsolete thinking because here in this world every human being is given the right to exist and survive .Though he is not happy , he is searching for something despite of having everything. It is a product of this contemporary and competitive world, everyone wants to lead a prosperous life a luxurious life style than his neighbor. when scopes were limited man is bound to have satisfied with limited wants . Actually the want of something directly effects the amount of dissatisfaction. or we can say scope is directly proportional to the amount of distress. But it varies from person to person. Now when the wants are unlimited so also the amount of dissatisfaction.
My father happens to be the most literate fellow of the area the then, and could not get the service he was worth of his education and intelligence but he never ever complained about anybody , any system ,he was satisfied with what he had. And people admired his simplicity and he earned only friends to his book not a single foe. I think his satisfaction converted in to positive vibes which attracted everyone. we have heard about many saints who denounced all earthly attractions to search inner happiness, which is unthinkable for others. Because happiness has different meaning for different people. “Happiness is not readymade, it comes from your own actions”.as Dalai Lama said. Some says it comes from good deeds, some says from independence, some from success, some by giving, some says from meditation, yet others say wealth, splendor, some from tranquility, some from wisdom, some from without desire, some says happiness comes at the end of ambition. But these are rare cases.
Some people remains unhappy whatever they achieve. This is outcome of this new era . people judge themselves from their education, wealth and popularity. They got dissatisfied if they don’t get their desired place. start blaming somebody or other .And in that list first comes their parent, then the system then the community . In this drive they forget the role of coincidence, fortune, luck. Often people who are sensible, hardworking and intelligent , despite of all their efforts and success are not happy, then it is their mind who is playing mischiefs.
Strive for success, it is not a bad thing at all but when this interferes with your life and health then it becomes a curse . people realize this much later and at times they are unable to return back to lead a normal life.
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Satisfaction/success
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No
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Yes
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No
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No satisfaction ,
No success
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Success but
No satisfaction
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YES
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Not successful but satisfied
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Success and satisfied
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The above table shows four types of people of which those who don’t get success are obviously not satisfied but when a successful person (from others point of view) is not satisfied then the problem aggravates.
Again the person not successful but satisfied with what he have means there is no scope for improvement. That means there is no desire which ultimately retards the growth for the individual and ultimately for the society. There are a few people who are successful and satisfied. We call them great .
Some derives pleasure by cursing others.
I have seen people cursing the other who happens to be a poor fellow or less intelligent overcoming the former in due course of time . A type of frustration and jealousy which creeps in and later it changes in to hatred in later part of life . They curse like anything and waits to see the other is suffering. They forget that they are hurting themselves ,by thinking about them all the time which they don’t want to do. A type of suffering they encounter from inside and waits to see the similar suffering in their opponent. In this way they suffer a lot more than the opponent. Later it becomes a habit and person becomes a sadistic. It is a psychological state where a person derives pleasure either by hurting or by seeing others hurt. They emit a kind of negative energy because they are already have a heavy dose of them inside their mind .They don’t have, in fact don’t need any friends because they apprehend others may not appreciate or others already refused to appreciate their point of view. They lead a melancholy life , all alone in a crowded atmosphere. Hatred, envy, violence and frustration, these are two edged weapons. It does hurt to the opponent as well as himself.
Failures always blame others for their share of misery. Failures means be it outer or inner. They find a scape goat and sacrifice in the name of their misery. They forget that they are not omnipotent and had to owe helps from anybody in any form.
This reminds me the famous saying:-
“A hundred times a day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depends on the labors of other men, living or dead and that I must exert myself in order to give in the full measure I have received and am still receiving.”(by Albert Einstein)
So to overcome this abnormal condition we have to condition our mind “whatever comes to me I am satisfied”. Strive for success at the tender ages when success and happiness appears to be one. And when you have achieved what you wished for then start conditioning your mind to become happy. This time around you will be in a position to differentiate between success and happiness. Sometimes satisfaction leads to a state of static. Static or stagnation leads to decay. So this is also impairment for the individual. When you are satisfied with what you have, then a type of vacuum creeps in. Striving for success leads to innovation, enthusiasm, positivity, which keeps the individual in motion in vibrant condition. At the same time inner satisfaction always tends to remain happy with what you have. This in turn results in lack of enthusiasm, less vibrant, resist to go ahead, reluctant to change. Later the individual becomes philosophical, loves to follow a spiritual path. So we have to make a balance between our success and satisfaction. Again timing is an important factor for deciding what and when to do.
Success →satisfaction →philosophical pursuits. Because when every individual strive for self-contended life then society will remain as it is.
To some extent It is also correct that everything pays off. For example if you helped someone then you are bound to get help from someone. (It is my observation.) We always confuse, the someone of former must not always be the someone of later . We expect an equal and opposite reaction like matter and it hardly happen And we lose hope. The act pays off not the person. Happiness always radiates. That is how the world is still a living habitat and best place in the universe , that is why humanism still exists.
Thanks & Regards
Mrs Swarna Prabha Kar
